Kurt Cobain 1967
- 1994
"It's
better to burn out, than to fade away"
This site is a
tribute to Kurt Donald Cobain, his life, his work and what he
believed in. I feel compelled to join the many others, all over
the world, in morning his death. The story of Kurt Cobain is one
of the sadest, most tradgic, yet true influences of my
generation. I can relate so much to the way he lived, the things
he believed in and the world he viewed. I think, that there are
not many people in this world that can relate to Kurt or
understand his way of thinking but i am one of them and if you
are able to read his poetry and lyrics listen to his songs and
"understand" you are too. Kurt reached out and touched
our hearts, and that is where he will remain, forever. Peace,
love, empathy.
In this internet
site i have tryed to cover as accurately as possible, the life,
and, death of Kurt Cobain. There have been so many mis-truths,
rumors, aligations and theories about one of the most talented
artists this century has seen and lost. Many people don't know
Kurt's story, unbelievably many people don't know who Kurt Cobain
is/was. There have been so many atempts to control the story that
it has gone un heard. A shrowd has been put around the whole
subject and only people who have searched have been able to find
the truth. Thanx to modern technology and many. many, many hours
of reasearch i am able to produce it to the public. I am going to
make sure that this site is promoted and shown to as many people
as possible, that is if it is not deleted in another atempt to
control the truth.
There is alot of
reading here, i have tryed to present all the facts and no
opinions so you are able to judge for your selves. Please take
the time to explore all of my site, even if you have to make
several visits, read all the evidence for your self as it has
taken alot of time and effot to produce and contains the story
you are not ment to read. I think it is something that everybody
should know about. The true story of Kurt Cobain.
"The life of a Legend"
explains and portrays the background of Kurt. His childhood, how
he grew up and his transition into the music world until the
point before his death.
The page following that "The death of a Legend" plots the tragic death of Kurt Cobain and the
circumstanses that surround it, and a chance to read the actule
suiside note written by Kurt.
You can also see the documented evidence of the
death for yourself, on the evidence pages, starting "All" the evidence ", including official police dept docutments and reports
on Courtney Love and Kurt Cobain.
Finally "The
conclution" kinda wraps the whole
story up, plus a chance to leave your own thoughts behind on this
site.
I recomend you read the pages in this order,
when viewing the evidence pages please be tolarant as the
pictures of the documents may take a while to load.
The life of a
Legend
The story of Kurt
Cobain is a story of great talent, hardship and tragedy. But it
is a story that needs to be heard and one i think we can all
relate to in some way.
Kurt was born in
1967 200 miles away from Seattle in the small up state logging
town of Aberdine. He lived there with his parents and sister and
was introduced to music at a very young age, by his aunt. At
seven years of age his life took a drastic change. His parents
divorced and he was forced to look at the world in a different
light.
As the home
situation became more unbareable for Kurt he was ferried between
houses, staying with different relatives and friends. He spent
many nights sleeping under the bridge at the end of his street
(the bridge imortalised by his song Something In The Way) here he
would spend the time alone writting his first lyrics. Kurt had by
this time become very alienated from other people and life, he
was very detacted and emotionally inwood. He didn't have any real
friends at school to talk to and all the other guys he knew
didn't want anything to do with him cause they thought he was
wierd or gay.
He would use most
of his time in high school to cut class and go to the libary and
read whatever he could lay his hands on. He would listen to
various types of music including The Beatles, but, living in a
small town he could never get the chance to listen to the music
that really interested him. Eventually he got a tape of some Punk
Rock his friend got for him from Seattle. He then knew that this
type of music was going to be his escape, a way out from the life
he hated to point of despare. By this time Kurt had turned 15 he
had already learned to play guitar so the process of forming a
band, with the help of his Aunt, was a natural progression,
Nirvana was born. Kurt did not really like the music of the
bigger rock bands like the Sex Pistols, Rolling Stones and
Aerosmith, he felt there lyrics were sexist and pointless with no
meaning. Kurt was a very sensitive and emotional person and this
shows though in this songs.
Kurt moved to Seattle to live with
his only true love, before he was famous, Tracy Merander,
imortalised in his song "about a girl". He stayed with
her for three years, happerly, and at the time was working on
songs for the Bleach album. He was also a very talented artist
and would enjoy spending time painting or sculpting, giving much
of the work he produced to Tracy. Although his life was now
fairly stable he had many troubles with him self and his life. He
did not feel emotionally secure and this was often portrayed in
his art work especially his sketches, drawings and paintings. He
found it hard to hold down a job and work on the band, he spent
most of his time living with Tracy working at a doctors surgery
as a janeter. Life was becoming a downward spiral in the eyes of
Kurt.
Kurt's band, Nirvana, began to
reach a local audiance, as it's cult following grew accros
America and the world Kurt started to feel more and more
isolated. He very rarely got to spend time with the people that
had come to mean something to him as he had grown up though those
troubled early years. As his fame grew and the band beacme even
more famous the pressure mounted, Kurt's body guards and minders
were always with him and his friends became more cut off, to a
point where they could not get to talk to him at all. Kurt hated
the fame, he felt so embaresssed by it all, riding in big
expensive cars and staying in luxurious hotels embaressed him to
a point of despare, he was a humble person, and he felt that the
lifestyle he was being forced to lead went against everything he
believed in and stood for. One time Kurt was riding in a limo to
play at a gig in Seattle, his friend Amy was in the car with him
and she has reported, that he explained to her, that usually they
would take a van to gigs and that the limo was not a desision he
had made. She says that he made apoint of stressing this to her
the whole way, that was the last time she saw him.
Kurt felt alot of resentment for
his past and the way in which he grew up, not toward his parents,
but more aimed at the world and the way that society was
constructed. In Tellevision and radio interviews he would often
talk about how screwed up the world was. That he didn't see how
anybody could possibly consider bringing a child into the world
the way it was. Kurt spent most of his life in depression, with
the exeption of a few years in the early 90's, this is reflected
in the music he wrote, but Kurt had reason to feel this way, the
life he had was never close to what he wanted. The only thing
that kept Kurt going though all the pressure, and, embaressment
he felt towards fame, was the music he was producing and playing
the world over. However his passion was slowly diminishing.
All the touring and pressure got
to him in the end, Kurt became ill. His mother had suffered with
stormach pains in her early 20's and Kurt had began to suffer the
same illness. The doctors could not determin what was the cause,
they put it down to stress. Kurt tryed to treat it with
everything, but nothing would work. Often he would feel to ill to
play, and this went on for a few years. Kurt was sick of feeling
ill all the time and took the only thing left that would stop the
pain. Kurt became an addict, another casulty of Heroin. In
interviews he would stress that it was more for the
"pain" than the "fame" being the reason for
his heroin use, and that he hated and was continualy making an
effot to control his habit and get off it completely.
Then, Kurt met Courtney. Courtney
Love became a big part of Kurt's life in a relatively short space
of time. Kurt's life took a drastic, sudden change. They got a
place together in Seattle, got married and had a child, Frances
Cobain. There relationship looked perfect from the outside, but
most of the people that knew them said it was very turbulent and
that Courtney was using Kurt, playing on his sensitivity. She had
a very bad up bringing with heroin use going back to when she was
15 years old. She was an extremely violent person, ruthless and
crazy in some of her actions towards other people, Kurt and fame
gave her power and the stepping stone she needed to get to the
top. Courtney is quoted as saying that they had a pharmacuticaly
suited relationship. Although now Courtney has transformed her
image and become a rock star and movie actress nominated for 2
acadamy awards. She will not talk about her past or time and
involvement with Kurt Cobain. But like many others i think it is
undisputible that Courtney was the "route of the cause"
behind Kurt's death. Her own father claims she killed Kurt, and
he has written several books about it. The book "Kurt
Cobain, beyond Nirvana" was written, ironicaly, by
Courtney's father and in it he declairs overwheming evidence
supporting the murder theory. However the facts are that even if
Courtney didn't pull the trigger she was the one to kill Kurt.
When Nirvana were doing there
world tour 1993, the last tour they would ever do, Kurt was
inteviewed back stage of a gig by Guitar World magazine. He
didn't know it at the time but this would become one of the most
famous interviews in history. Later haled as "The lost
Interview" it was only published recently, nearly 4 years
after his death. I can't give the url to it out or create a link
to it for certain legal ristrictions. However i do recomend you
read it, and i can tell you how to find it on the net. Go to the
Alta Vista search engine, type kurt cobain. You should find a
page titled "The lost Interview" in the first couple of
pages of results, go to the begining of the interview, and read
away.
The Interview showed a different
Kurt to what we expected, he was happy and content with life. He
is quoted as saying he hadn't been this happy since when he was
7, before his family break up. He spoke wisley about his
"past" battle with heroin addiction and how he viewed
life differently once in love. Where he had said in the past he
didn't believe in bringing a child into the world, he corrected
himself and said it ain't all really that bad. He speaks about
meeting up with his dad and his childhood in Aberdine. It is an
honest and indepth interview covering his whole life in his own
words. However, shortly after that interview, Kurt's life would
turn around again and this time he hit an all time low.
Kurt was in Rome for his birthday,
and, he was supposed to meet with Courtney there. She did not go
to Rome though. She was in London with the lead singer from the
band Smashing Pumkins, it is said that they were having an
affair. She then flew to Paris and Kurt was left totally alone,
in Rome, without even seeing his daughter which he wanted so bad.
Things had worsen'd in there marrige and there was talk of
divorce. Courtney tried to pay a hitman none as "El
Ducho" (who was mysteriously killed later in 1996 after
talking to the media about it) $50.000 to kill Kurt. Still in
Rome Kurt was becoming desperatly depressed and over dosed on
heroin. It was said, by the media, to be a suiside attempt.
Kurt was flown to a rehabilitation
clinic in Califonia to recover and quit his addiction. Courtney
was still in Paris and did not comment on the news of her
husbands over dose. Kurt got in touch with his best friend Dillon
and asked him to purches a shot-gun. On April 2nd 1994 Kurt
escaped from the clinic and flew back to Seattle. I don't think
that Kurt asked his friend Dillon (imortalised by his song
"in bloom") to get him the
shot-gun with the intention of killing him self. I think Kurt had
been thinking about his relationship with Courtney and knowing
her violent nature, bought the gun a a precautionary measure.
Dillon said that he would not have bought the gun for his best
friend if he thought in any way he was suisidal.
The story concludes on the next
page, "The death of a legend", follow the link bellow.
The death of a legend
On the morning of the 8th of April
1994 the body of Kurt Cobain was discovered at his luxurious
Seattle home, by an electrician due to fit a new sercurety
system. The world was shocked. On the announcement of his death
traffic stood still all over Seattle for hours and people were in
disbelief all over the globe. The media in the western world went
into overdrive as more and more facts and evidence about the
suposed suiside poured onto our screens in the days that
followed. Here is a quoted broadcast from CNN world news on
april 9th 94.
"The music world stood
still today, in disbelief, as news of the horrific death of rock
star Kurt Cobain eco'd around the world. The 27 year old front
man of the band Nirvana was discovered dead yesterday at his
luxurious Seattle residence, after a self inflicted gun wound to
the head. Cobains wife Courtney Love, who is currently in Paris,
is said to be devistated at the news of her husbands death."
An electrician was preparing the
house, to install a new sercurety system after Courtney had said
that the home was not secure enough for her young daughter. About
mid-way in his preperations he came to the garage. When he tryed
to enter the door, even with the key it was blocked from behind.
When he walked around the back of the garage to the small room
above it he could see into the room though the french doors which
had also been baricaded from the inside. On the floor in the
centre of the room he could see a male body laying in a pool of
semi dry blood with a 12 gage shot-gun laying on the chest. His
first susspitions were that he was looking at the body of Kurt
Cobain who he was aware owned the house. He then notified the
police of his horrific discovery.
The first assumtion taken by the
police at the scene was that the death was clearly a suiside and
all the imidiate evidence pointed in that direction. Kurt was
laying on his back with the shot-gun on top of his body. The but
of the gun was between his ankles and the snub just above his
belt. It was clear from the extent of his head traumer that the
gun had been placed in the mouth and fired upward. The body had
been laying undetected for at 4 days. Next to the body lay a
wooden box containing several burnt spoons, pieces of tar and
needles. On the neer side table lay a note. Although all seemed
in it's place, and, the events that had taken place only a few
days before seemed clear in the mind of the law officials, there
were several things which did not add up.
The day before the body was
discovered, on the 7th, a private detective, who had been hired a
week earlier by Courtney Love, to keep tracks on Kurt, was trying
to find him, after he found out Kurt fleed the clinic in
califonia on the 2nd. He contacted Dillon, Kurt's best friend and
together they searched the Seattle home. However, they failed to
check the appartment above the garage where his body lay
undetected.
The Note
The note that Kurt Wrote
moments before his death clearly portrayed his feelings, and, is
and always will be a testimony to his thoughts at time of his
death. Readding the note for the first time was a very emotional
moment for me. Many people say that the note was tampered with
and the last 4 lines were added by someone else. There is no
mention of death or suiside in the note and many believe that
this note was not a suiside note at all, that i was a note
annoucing that Kurt was leaving Nirvana. Which is likley. I have
gone to alot of trouble to get a copy of the real thing on this
page, but i feel everybody should be able to read it and form
there own conclusions.
The note is addressed to Boddah. Boddah was
Kurts only true friend and was always there when he needed him.
When Kurt was young Boddah was his imaginary friend but as he
grew older he knew Boddah as his soul, a vision of this perfect
person, a model for how everybody should be. I think this is how
Kurt invisioned the interaction with his own mind. Boddah was the
only person he could ever count on, after so many others had hurt
him. I think he felt guilty and that he had let himself down.
To read my conclusion to the whole
story follow the link to "The conclusion". Or go back
to the main page and follow the link to
"All" the evidence" and see the official police
dept documentation, homacide reports, shot-gun reciepts and
statement on Courtney.
"All" the evidence
There has been alot of effot made to cover up
the official documents and police reports about the death of Kurt
Cobain. Courtney Love and her team of big-shot lawyers have done
everything possible to cover the whole Kurt Cobain story in a
shrowd of darkness. Thanx to some people who risked there careers
and lives to bring this story to light, the public can now have
the chance to read the true facts. Courtney has never been one to
hide behind her men in suits. She has verbaly and phsicaly
atacked people for discussing printing or publising any part of
her life with Kurt. People have recieved death threats and there
material has been destroyed because of the atitude Courtney has
adopted. Many films made about the life and death of Kurt Cobain
have been scraped or not shown as result. This is the reason why
many people do not know about his story. Well i want to tell it.
However you cannot ignore the possiblity that by telling this
story i am opening myself up for legal and personal objection. I
have done my best to remain anonimous, but i have to ask myself
how long will this page be on the internet ?
Well here are the official police documents and
reports carried out by the Seattle p.d after the death of Kurt
Cobain. I have gone to alot of trouble to gather and publish
these, as you can imagine. please wait as they may take a time to
load.
This is the Homiside statement carried
out by the first officer at the scene.
The Conclusion
As i said at the begining of this
site, i am only presenting facts not peoples opinions. On this
page i will present my opinions to the whole Kurt Cobain story
but they are based on facts and i have read every piece of
material i could get on Kurt, his life and death.
Many people believe Kurt was
murdered. But this is not an opinion it is a fact. He was
murdered. Whether he was murdered at the hands of another person
or it was simpley society and the pressures of fame that killed
Kurt, he was in my mind murdered by a society and world system
that makes everybody a killer.
As i mentioned earlier there were
a few facts about the death which just didn't add up. Because
they couldn't be explained, the police didn't bother to
investigate it further. They are as follows.
There was not a single
finger print on the shot-gun. This indicates that it was
wiped. Now if Kurt shot himself there would have to be a
finger print, belonging to him, on the trigger. There
wasn't.
The amount of heroin found
in Kurt's blood after the autopsy was very high. Infact
it was so high that the toxicologist stated that a person
under the influence of that bigger doseage would be
totally incapacitated. He said that there is no way Kurt
would have been conscious, let alone been able to write a
note, load a gun and pull the trigger.
Marks on Kurt's body
idicated some kind of struggle before death occured. The
puncher wound left by the needle used to inject the
heroin was deep and messy, indicating the needle had been
stabed into the flesh, as if by another person.
The suposed suiside note
makes no mention of Kurt killing him self or atempting
suiside. The note is more like an appolagy for leaving
the band Nirvana. The last 4 lines appear to have been
added by someone else, handwriting experts agree this and
the ink in the last 4 lines was fresher and different to
the ink on the rest of the note.
Courtney had tryed to hire
a hit man to kill Kurt before for $50,000. There marrige
was over according to friends and witnesses, Kurt was
talking about changing his will and writting Courtney out
of it and leaving everything to Frances. This was
witnessed by the Nanny.
A stool was used in the
investigation, which it was said that Kurt used to block
a door. The door used had no access from the outside
anyway.
The blast patern left by
the gun shot indicates Kurt was shot/shot himself whilst
laying down on his back.
All these facts were dismissed one
by one by the police. They said Kurt was able to pull the trigger
under the influence of that amount of heroin because he had a
high tolerance level. That is not what the evidence indicates. I
think a shabby police investigation and the above facts lead to a
major error in justice. I believe Kurt was murdered, by someone
hired by his wife. She wanted to get to the top and nothing was
going to stand in her way. She wrote a poem declairing that a
year earlier. When Kurt tried to get away she would not let him,
she played on his weakness to love and emotion like a leach
sucking blood. She showed no morning for his death and released
her debue rock album by her band Hole the week after Kurt died. I
think she got worried when Kurt said he wanted a divorce,
custerdy of his daughter and that he was going to change his
will. I think the private detective sent to the house by Courtney
was ment to find the body and that is the real reason she sent
him there.
I think Kurt had got the shot-gun
in a desperate almost psycotic state and gone back to the house
to clear things up, leave Nirvana and move away. But sometime in
those few hours he was confronted in his own home rendered
unconscious by a high dose of heroin and whilst laying on the
floor, shot in the head. Then it was made to look like a suiside.
Courtney Love has put that part of
her life behind her, changed her image and made it to the top.
She has a top 40 rock band "Hole", a movie career plus
acadamy award nominations. She blames all that was bad in her
life on a cronically depressed death rocker who was so weak he
took his own life. She has won.
Many people don't know Kurt
Cobain, even if they have heard his name on the radio or in a
bar, they would never know the real person, his real story. I
feel sad when i hear people say his name and relate to an image
of death, drepression and hatred. Nothing could be futher from
the truth. This is what Courtney has done and for that she will
go to hell. Kurt Donald Cobain was a truley sensitive, emotional
person. The people that knew him say he was a caring father and
never shouted raised his fist of hurt a thing. He was considerate
of other peoples feelings to a point where he lost control of his
own. He felt incredable guilt for being famous. While Courtney
wanted a mansion Kurt wanted a shelter, while courtney wanted a
big expensive car, Kurt wanted a walk. They had different
priorities in life.
Kurt's story was not ment to end
when it did, i feel his life was cut short and the world has lost
one of the greatest talents it has ever had. Kurt Cobain tryed to
change the world, he had a vision of a perfect, pure society and
felt incredable guilt about the fact that he could not change
things, people were ruthless and he couldn't handle that. It
makes me sad to think that most people don't know his story, a
story of courage, life and tragerdy. I believe that one day
justice will be done, i think everybody can learn something from
the story of Kurt and relate to it in so way. I just wanted to
give people the chance to know the real man behind such a sad
existance. There is one thing that they will never be able to
destroy though, and that is the memory we have of Kurt and songs
that shaped a world. Kurt created music, music that will be
around forever in our hearts, Kurt Cobain will never die.
Kurt did change the world, and
more importantly he changed me. Thank You...
By Paul Chapman 1998
peace, love, empathy...
Kurt Donald Cobain was the leader of Nirvana, the multi-platinum grunge band that redefined the sound of the nineties.
Cobain
was born on the 20th of February 1967 in Hoquaim, a small town 140
kilometres south-west of Seattle. His mother was a cocktail waitress and
his father was an auto mechanic. Cobain soon moved to nearby Aberdeen, a
depressed and dying logging town.
Cobain was for most
his childhood a sickly bronchitic child. Matters were made worse when
Cobain's parent's divorced when he was seven and by his own account
Cobain said he never felt loved or secure again. He became increasingly
difficult, anti-social and withdrawn after his parent's divorce. Cobain
also said that his parent's traumatic split fueled a lot of the anguish
in Nirvana's music.
After his parent's divorce Cobain
found himself shuttled back and forth between various relatives and at
one stage homeless living under a bridge.
When Cobain was
eleven he heard and was captivated by the Britain's Sex Pistols and
after their self-destruction Cobain and friend Krist Novoselic continued
to listen to the wave of British bands including Joy Division the
nihilistic post-punk band that some say Nirvana are directly descended
from in form of mood, melody and lyrical quality.
Cobain's
artistry and iconoclastic attitude didn't win many friends in high
school and sometimes earned him beatings from "jocks" Cobain got even by
spray painting "QUEER" on their pick-up trucks. By 1985 Aberdeen was
dead and Cobain's next stop was Olympia. Cobain formed and reformed a
series of bands before Nirvana came to be in 1986. Nirvana was an uneasy
alliance between Cobain, bassist Krist Novoselic and eventually drummer
and multi-instrumentalist Dave Grohl
By 1988 Nirvana
were doing shows and had demo tapes going around. In 1989 Nirvana
recorded their rough-edged first album Bleach for local Seattle
independent label Sub-Pop
In Britain Nirvana received a
lot of recognition and in 1991 their contract was bought out by Geffen,
they signed to the mega-label, the first non-mainstream band to do so.
Two and a half years after Nirvana's first C.D. Bleach was released they
released Nevermind, a series of different, crunching, screaming songs
that along with it's first single Smells Like Teen Spirit would propel
Nirvana to mainstream stardom.
Smells Like Teen Spirit
became Nirvana's most highly acclaimed and instantly recognizable song.
Not many people can decipher it's exact lyrics but Cobain used a
seductive hookline to hook the listener. Nevermind went on to sell ten
million copies and make a reported $550 million (US) leaving Nirvana
overnight millionaires. Cobain was shocked at the reception of his
highly personal and passionate music repeatedly telling reporters that
none of the band ever, ever expected anything like this. It quickly
became obvious that the obsessively sickly and sensitive 24yr old was
not going to cope well with the rock'n roll lifestyle. "If there was a
rock star 101 course, I'd really have like to take it," Cobain once
observed. Cobain fell into heroin in the early 90's, he said he used it
as a shield against the rigorous demands of touring and to stop the pain
of stomach ulcers or an irritated bowel. Through the touring and
pressure Cobain continued to write his very personal acutely focused
lyrics.
Cobain was distressed to find out that what he
wrote and how it was interpreted could quite often be miles apart. He
was appalled when he found out that Polly a heavily ironic anti-rape
song had been used as background music in a real gang-rape. He later
appealed to fans on the Incesticide liner notes "If any of you don't
like gays or women or blacks, please leave us the fuck alone." It was to
no avail, Cobain found that as an overnight millionaire musician
control was something he had very little of. Cobain also worried that
his band had sold-out, that it was attracting the wrong kind of fans
(i.e the type that used to beat him up.)
In February 1992
Cobain skipped off to Hawaii to marry the already pregnant Courtney
Love. Later in the year Nirvana released Incesticide and in August
Cobain had hospital treatment for heroin abuse. Shortly after Frances
Bean Cobain was born. In early 1993 In Utero was released into the top
spot on the music charts. In Utero was widely acclaimed by the music
press and it contains some of Cobain's most passionate work. In Utero
was a lot more open than Nirvana's previous albums. Songs like All
Apologies and Heart Shaped Box detailed aspects of Cobain's sometimes
shaky marriage, other songs like Scentless Apprentice detailed the
agonies and struggles of Cobain's experiences.
Nirvana
embarked on a support tour and recorded and filmed an "unplugged"
(acoustic) performance for MTV in November of 1993. Nirvana's choice to
honour bands and people that had influenced them and Cobain's passionate
and intense vocals especially on "Where Did You Sleep Last
Night?"silenced many of their who had labeled Cobain talentless. Rumors
circulated that the MTV Unplugged compilation would be Nirvana's last
album and the band were splitting up.
Cobain was a gun
fanatic and always had several in his possession or in various forms of
confiscation. In the northern winter of 1993-94 Nirvana embarked on an
extensive European tour. Twenty concerts into the tour Cobain developed
throat problems and their schedule was interrupted while he recovered.
While recovering Cobain flew to Rome to join his wife who was also
preparing to tour with her own band.
On March the 4th
Cobain was rushed to hospital in a coma after an unsuccessful suicide
bid in which he washed down about fifty prescription painkillers with
champagne. The suicide bid was officially called an accident and was not
even made known to close friends and associates. Several days later he
returned to Seattle. Cobain's wife, friends and managers convinced
Cobain, who was still in deep distress to enter a detox program in L.A.
According to a missing person's report filed by his mother Cobain fled
after only a few days of the program.
Cobain was cited in
the Seattle area with a shotgun. Days later on the 5th of April he
barricaded himself into the granny flat behind his mansion, put a
shotgun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. On Thursday April the 7th ~
two days after a medical examiner says Cobain shot himself and the day
before his body was found police say Courtney Love herself was taken to
hospital in L.A. for a drug overdose. Released on bail, Love checked
herself into a rehab center but left soon after a friend called her the
next day with news of Cobain's death.
Cobain's body was
found when an electrician visiting the house to install a security
system went round the back of the house when no one answered the front
door and peered through windows. He thought he saw a mannequin sprawled
on the floor until he noticed a splotch of blood by Cobain's ear. When
police broke down the door they found Cobain dead on the floor, a
shotgun still pointed at his chin and on a nearby counter a suicide note
written in red ink addressed to Love and the couples then 19 month old
daughter Frances Bean.
The suicide note ended with the
words "I love you, I love you." Two days after Kurt Cobain's body was
found about 5,000 people gathered in Seattle for a candlelight vigil.
the distraught crowd filled the air with profane chants, burnt their
flannel shirts and fought with police. They also listened to a tape made
by Cobain's wife in which she read from his suicide note. Several
distressed teenagers in the U.S. and Australia killed themselves. The
mainstream media was lambasted for it's lack of respect and
understanding of youth culture.
Kurt Donald Cobain (20 Februari 1967 – ± 5 April 1994) adalah
penyanyi, penulis lagu dan gitaris dalam band grunge dari Seattle,
Nirvana. Dengan sukses band ini, Cobain menjadi selebriti nasional dan
internasional, suatu posisi yang disandangnya dengan berat hati.
Kurt Cobain lahir, hidup dan dibesarkan di pinggiran kota Seattle, dengan nama Kurt Donald Cobain.
Masa kecil hidupnya pada awalnya cukup menyenangkan, sesuai dengan hidup
kebanyakan anak kecil pada masanya. Orang tuanya sendiri termasuk
tipikal
common people di Amerika, pekerja kelas menengah, dengan gaya hidup biasa, dandanan biasa. Seperti ayahnya yang selalu bergaya ala
Buddy Holly.
Pada intinya salah satu fase Kurt masa kecil adalah Kurt yang bahagia
yang doyan musik pop dan hal hal populer lainnya. Namun dalam keluarga
besar Kurt sendiri sudah membawa benih benih suicide. Beberapa
kerabatnya, salah satunya yaitu paman si Kurt sendiri meninggal dengan
cara menembak kepalanya memakai shoot gun. Dan kelak fenomena ini
dikatakan oleh Kurt sebagai
suicide gen.
 |
| Kurt Cobain dari masa ke masa |
Ia
sendiri adalah seorang yang putus sekolah. Ia menghabiskan hari dengan
bercanda bersama teman temannya, mabuk dengan menggunakan berbagai hal
yang ditemuinya, serta bekerja sebagai pembersih kolam renang dan
kandang anjing. Kurt yang mulanya adalah seorang
poppies,
kemudian mulai mendengarkan musik metal sebagai bentuk sublimasi
kemarahannya. Dan di kemudian hari karena berbagai hal, ia membenci
musik metal dan kemudian terjebak untuk hidup bohemian di kultur punk.
Berbagai pengaruh musik dalam hidupnya seperti hal2 sentimentil ala
poppies,
distorsi berat dan kemarahan ala metal, dan pemberontakan dan
kebebasan ala kaum punk, yang di kemudian hari mengental dalam lagu
lagu Nirvana, dan menjadi salah satu ciri khas yang memaksa kaum
kritisi musik Inggris menyebutnya sebagai "
grunge" (bahasa Jermannya berarti babi). Dan di buku
More Than Noise - Philosophy of Punk, menuliskan bahwa Nirvana adalah produk akhir dari kultur punk yang sebenar-benarnya.
 |
| Kurt Cobain Remaja |
Bisa jadi ia menyesal telah menciptakan Smells Like Teen Spirit.
Menjadi artis top bukanlah cita-citanya ketika ia mendirikan Nirvana.
Kurt hanya ingin bermain musik untuk menyalurkan rasa marah, kesepian,
depresi dan jenis kesuntukan lainnya yang didapat akibat berbagai
kejadian traumatis seperti perceraian orang tuanya sampai sering
dipukuli di sekolah karena dianggap culun dan bego. Tahun 1991 album Nevermind meledak.
Mereka menjadi icon generasi baru di seluruh dunia dan menjadi salah
satu band paling berpengaruh sepanjang masa. Maka, Cobain bertambah
stress.
Ciri khas dan kegilaan dari Kurt Cobain ialah
membuat
lirik lagu yang sulit dimengerti, menghancurkan peralatan musik,
mengenakan gaun baby doll di panggung, menantang Axl Rose berkelahi,
menikah dengan Courtney Love, mengkonsumsi heroin bersama Courtney yang
tengah hamil, dan membuat lagu I Hate My Self and I Want To Die yang juga diusulkan sebagai judul album ketiga Nirvana (ditolak mentah-mentah dan diganti menjadi In Utero).
Kurt
sudah berulang kali mengatakan soal bunuh diri. Tapi pada tanggal 4
Maret 1994, upaya itu direalisasikannya dengan menelan sekitar 50 butir
pil painkiller dicampur Champagne. Kombinasi yang
mematikan, namun gagal. Kurt yang sudah koma dilarikan ke rumah sakit
dan selamat. Beberapa minggu kemudian, ia menjalani program detox di
L.A., tapi belum selesai, ia kabur dan menghilang.
Ibunya
melaporkan kasus ini ke polisi, tetapi tanggal 7 April, vokalis
berambut gondrong tanggung itu ditemukan dengan kepala berlubang di
pondok kecil di halaman rumahnya di Seattle, bersama dengan shotgun
yang masih menempel di dagunya dan catatan bunuh diri yang ditujukan
kepada Boddah (sahabat khayalannya), Courtney dan Fraces Bean,
putrinya. Dalam suratnya antara lain ia mengatakan sudah tidak tahan
menjadi pusat perhatian. Aksinya itu kemudian ditiru oleh beberapa
fans-nya yang juga gila di Amerika dan negara-negara lainnya. Banyak
remaja di berbagai belahan dunia yang selain berduka, juga ikutan
bunuh diri karena mereka merasa kehilangan pahlawan mereka. Tercatat
paling banyak di Australia, dimana hampir sekitar 1000 remaja bunuh
diri dalam kurun waktu sebulan semenjak Kurt Cobain meninggal.
Sebab utama Kurt
Cobain menurut sumber yang saya dapat adalah bunuh diri. Bunuh diri
karena mentalnya tidak bisa menerima kenyataan bahwa dia semakin
terkenal. Kurt Cobain sendiri sering bilang kepada Courtney kalo dia
sudah tidak kuat sama penderitaannya. Dan memang benar, berapa hari
menjelang Cobain bunuh diri, Cobain menghilang, baik dari keluarganya
(si Courtney dan Frances Bean, anaknya), dari Nirvana, dan dari pers.
"Tata cara" bunuh diri Kurt Cobain sendiri masih misterius, namun
investigasi aparat setempat menyebutkan bahwa sebelum Cobain menembak
kepalanya dengan senapan shootgun, ia memakai heroin, menuliskan
surat-surat personal salah satunya untuk teman imajiner Cobain yaitu
Bhoddah, memutar piringan hitam lagu REM yaitu Man on The Moon, dan pada akhirnya Kurt Cobain menembak kepalanya sendiri.
 |
| Ilustrasi Jenazah Kurt Cobain |
Saat
ditemukan, jasad Kurt Cobain telah membusuk, salah satu sisi
tengkoraknya hancur lebur oleh peluru kaliber 9 mm, dan wajahnya hampir
tidak bisa dikenali lagi. Namun yang jelas kematiannya tidak hanya
bikin Courtney Love menangis diatas jasadnya, namun juga semua orang
orang terdekat Cobain juga merasa sangat kehilangan. Dari kedua orang
tua Kurt Cobain, adik perempuannya, kemudian Kris Novoselic, Dave Grohl
dan kawan kawan, serta mantan pacar Kurt yaitu Molly yang datang dan
berduka di upacara pemakaman Kurt Cobain. Kris Novoselic sempat
mengatakan beberapa kalimat dalam sebuah pidato singkat pelepasan, yang
intinya mengenang Kurt Cobain. "If You Have a Heart and You can play guitar, Then I'ts gonna be a great song". Kemudian kata kata inilah yang jadi quote memorial terhadap karir musik Kurt Cobain.
-RIP Kurt Cobain-
_________________________________________
In Memoriam Kurt Cobain
Kurt Donald Cobain was born to Wendy and Donald Cobain on February
20, 1967 in the small logging community of Aberdeen Washington and his
life ended on April 5, 1994. Kurt fronted one of the greatest bands of
our time called Nirvana. In this report I hope to inform you about the
life and mysterious death of
Kurt Cobain.
Kurt had a good childhood, but a troubled adolescence. Partly because
of his parents splitting up in 1975 when Kurt was eight years old. Kurt
chose to live with his mother. Kurt's father remarried three years
later.
Kurt got his first guitar for his 14th birthday. He took one guitar
lesson
and never paid for it. Kurt says «I went and learned the power chords
and never went back and never paid for the lesson I guess I still owe
that guy the $6 or whatever it was. I didn't go back because once you
know the power chords you can start writing your own songs.» Kurt's
mother remarried in May of 1984 to Pat O'Connor and one year later in
May of 1985 Kurt would drop out of high school at the age of 17. During
this period of his life Kurt got caught up with the drug community of
Aberdeen and started heroin, an addiction he would never defeat. Many
blame his death on this horrendous drug. Kurt often lived under a bridge
along the muddy banks of the Wishkah river during that period.
Kurt had been just hanging out when he met Chad Channing and Krist
Novaselic and they would go on to find out that they each played music.
Chad played the drums and Krist played the bass. The three started
getting together and jamming. They wrote some of their own songs and
sent out some demo tapes. They released a single in November of 1988.
They got signed to a small company and produced their first album titled
Bleach. It featured Chad Channing on Drums, Kurt Cobain on guitar and
vocals, and Krist Novaselic on bass. Bleach only ending up costing $600
to produce and did not sell big. After recording Bleach the band made a
short west coast tour that started in February of 1989 in Seattle and
moved down the coast. However the band was just preparing for the tour
for Bleach which started on June 22, 1989 in San Francisco and ended in
New Castle, England, the bands first European show.
Nirvana started another short US tour in February of 1990 and one
month later Chad left the band to be replaced with Dave Grohl. To break
in the new addition they did a seven show west coast tour.
Chad wanted to move on and Dave was totally down with where Nirvana
was headed so the band said bye to Chad Channing and hello to Dave
Grohl. Dave was a drummer who could carry Kurt's uneven beat without a
thought. The band with it's new addition was ready to start recording
again, this time it was another single and few more shows. Then on April
30, 1991 the band got it's big break, they signed with Geffen Records a
huge record company. With a new record deal under their belt Nirvana
started recording it's next full length album in May of 1991.
Geffen sent the band on a massive European tour in August of 1991, to
hopefully boost record sales over seas. That same month they made a
music video for one of their new songs called Smells Like Teen Spirit.
After the tour of Europe the band went back to the US and on September
13, 1991 the release party for Nevermind was held. One week later the
tour began in Toronto for Nevermind. Four days later Nevermind was
released and debuted at 144 in sales on the billboards. After touring
for two months in the US the band was once again going to Europe. The
European tour started on November 2, 1991 in Bristol England.
On January 24, 1992 the band went on a world tour. While in Hawaii
Kurt marries Courtney Love. Courtney was a groupie and Kurt's
girlfriend. She was a also a heroin user. And we would find out later
that she was pregnant with Kurt's baby as well. While on the tour Kurt
wasn't feeling very well and collapsed a few times due to stomach pains.
The band wound up the world tour and on August 18, 1992 Francis Bean
Cobain was born to Kurt and Courtney who still went by Courtney Love,
her maiden name. Francis was named after a member of the band called the
Vaselines and Bean came from what she looked like in her sonogram.
On December 15, 1992 the band released its third full length album
titled Incesticide. Four months later the band went back to record it's
last album in two weeks titled In Utero. the album was released on
September 21, 1993 and the band again went on tour on October 10, 1993.
The band took the tour to Europe in February of 1994, 29 days later the
last Nirvana performance is played in Munich Germany. Five days later
Kurt was hospitalized after a «suicide» attempt, due to an apparent drug
overdose. He enters a coma and awakens the next day asking for a
milkshake. Three days later he leaves the hospital under his own power.
Exactly one month later Kurt's body is found in the greenhouse above his
garage by an electrical technician, who ironically calls a local radio
station first instead of the police.
Kurt had been shot in the mouth with a shotgun, This is where the
mysterious part comes in. The rest is full of contradictions and lies.
The coroner reported the gunshot self inflicted, however the Private
Investigator Courtney hired pointed the finger at Courtney and said
murder. He did not mean that Courtney had pulled the trigger but that
she had planned it. His reasoning behind this was 1: the two were
apparently getting a divorce and Courtney had asked for the meanest most
vicious divorce lawyer available and Kurt had requested to take
Courtney out of his will. 2: Kurt had just turned down 9.5 million
dollars to front the Lollapalooza tour. 3: the police reports said that
Kurt had barricaded himself in the room but the lock on the door
could've been locked by anybody by simply turning the lock and walking
out the door shutting it behind them. 4: Courtney kept telling Dylan
Carlson to check the greenhouse. Dylan was Kurt's best friend and helped
Tom Grant look for Kurt, This is where my survey comes in out of 47
people surveyed including fans, students, and teachers 20 said they
believed that Kurt was murdered and 27 said they believed that Kurt
committed suicide, almost an even split.
Kurt left a big hole in the music industry and this was expressed by
many of his fellow musicians including Eddy Vedder of Pearl Jam and
Michael Stipe of R. E. M. Eddy had to say «I feel bad that Kurt's not
still writing songs because he was brilliant and that guy could
emotionally twang my heart-strings. Every song he wrote spoke to me.»
Dave Grohl and Pat Smear, who had been a late edition for In Utero an
back-up guitar formed a band called the Foo Fighters with Dave on lead
guitar and vocals, Pat on back-up guitar again, and two new people.
Krist went on to join a band called Sweet 75. Krist has also become a
«spokesperson» for the band being the only member that was with the band
all the way until the end. I hope i have shown you what Kurt's life and
death were like. There is much more information about this subject out
there this is just some of it.
Kurt Donald Cobain was born on February 20,1967 in the town of
Aberdeen, Washington. Aberdeen is on the west coast and is about 108
miles southwest of Seattle. Aberdeen is a dreary place with about seven
feet of rain a year. Kurt was born to Mrs. Wendy Cobain and to Mr.
Donald Cobain. Wendy was a homemaker. She had a very tight bond with
Kurt. He was her first born. She had another child three years after she
had Kurt. Her name was Kim. Donald was a mechanic. He was very into
sports. He often tried to push Kurt into sports but Kurt just didn't
like them. Even though the Cobain's didn't have much they seemed to do
all right. Wendy dressed her children in the best clothes she could
afford. They always looked like the best dressed kids in Aberdeen.
Kurt was an extremely happy child. He would wake up everyday so
happy. He was always filled with joy and always had a smile on his face.
Kurt once said his upbringing could be decribed as «white trash posing
as middle class». His mother told him to stay away from the poor kids.
She said they were dirty. So Kurt did and he also would beat the up.
Then in 4th grade he realized he liked them better. Around that time
people started to notice that Kurt was very good in art. Most of Kurt's
friends didn't really like things like art and music. He loved these
things so much he stopped making friends because he was different.
Kurt was not such a health kid. His whole life he suffered chronic
bronchitis. At age of seven he was diagnosed hyperactive. He was put on
Ritalin. This seemed to make him stay up until four in the morning. They
soon put him on sedatives. This did not work either. They made him fall
asleep in school. Doctors told Wendy to try subtracting sugar and Red
Dye #2 from his food. This was the right prescription for Kurt. Sometime
during the 8th grade Kurt was diagnosed with scloiosis. In his later
years the weight of his guitar made it worse. Suicide also ran in his
family. In 1979 a great uncle committed suicide and in 1984 an uncle
also committed suicide.
Kurt was in love with music since the age of two. He was brought up
in a musical family. One of Wendy's uncle had some records out in the
40's and 50's. Her brother was in a Rock and Roll Band. Her sister was
in a country band and played the guitar. Almost everyone had some sort
of musical talent.
Kurt had always wanted to be a drummer in a rock and roll band. His
first drum set was a Mickey Mouse drum set. He played with it everyday
until it was broken. At the age of seven he got a bass drum along with
some Beatles and Monkees records. In 3rd grade Kurt started taking drum
lessons. He also played the drums in his grade school band. When Kurt
was fourteen he got a guitar for his birthday and decided not to play
the drums anymore. He wrote his own songs and wanted to start a punk
rock band.
At the age of 8, Kurt's parents got a divorce. Kurt was destroyed. He
no longer was happy and smiling. He became very inward and was always
frowning. About a year after the divorce Kurt went to live with his dad.
He had many new changes to cope with. Donald had remarried. His new
wife had a son and a daughter. Kurt did not get along with any of them.
As a result he was moved out of their home. Between 1975 and 1984 Kurt
moved two times a year. He was shuffled between three sets of aunts and
uncles, grandparents and sometimes back to his dad. To have somewhere to
fit in Kurt started hanging around some older kids. This is also when
he started to become a little stoner kid. From 1984 to1985 Kurt lived
with his mom. She soon kicked him out because he dropped out of high
school. He was a senior in high school and just weeks short of
graduation. For one year he lived in friend's houses, cars and even
under a bridge.
In the winter of 1985 Kurt formed his first band with Krist Novoselic
and Aaron Burkhard. They went through a series of names before finally
deciding on Nirvana. Some of them were Fecal Matter, Skid Row, Ted Ed
Fred, Pen Cap Chew, and Windowpane. Their first live performance took
place in Olympia in the summer of 1985. This same summer Kurt tries
heroin for the first time. He loves Olympia so much that he decides to
move there in the fall of 1987. Also in 1987 Kurt feels a burning pain
in his stomach for the first time. This pain haunts him for the rest of
his life.
In January of 1989 Sub Pop Records hears a 10 song demo of Nirvana.
They offer to put out a single. That summer Aaron Burkhard is replaced
by Chad Channing. Nirvana's Sub Pop single is «Love Buzz» and «Big
Cheese». In October of 1988 1000 copies are distributed. Also that same
month Kurt smashes his first guitar which later becomes his trademark.
Sub Pop asks Nirvana to record an album. They add a 2nd guitarist
around this time. His name is Jason Everman. In June of 1989 Bleach is
released. Nirvana goes on a month long tour. At the end of the tour
Everman is kicked out of the band. In October of 1989 Nirvana goes on
another tour. This one is in Europe and is six weeks long. They are
accompanied by the group Tad. They rest a few months when they get back
from this tour. Their next tour started in May of 1990 and lasted until
April. At the end of this tour Channing is kicked out of the group. Soon
they meet a man named Dave Grohl. He replaces Channing. Once again
Nirvana goes on a tour. This time with Sonic Youth.
In April of 1991, Nirvana is asked to sign with Greffen DGC Records.
After long battles between Sub pop and DGC Nirvana finally signs. That
May and June Nirvana goes into the recording studio with producer Butch
Vig. They record the album that makes them stars. It is Nevermind. This
album is released in September of 1991. The first day it is out it is
#144 on the Billboard Charts. On October 20,1991 Nevermind goes gold.
Nirvana is sweeping the nation. MTV plays the «Smells Like Teen Spirit»
video constantly. By November of 1991 Nevermind goes platinum. On
January 11, 1992 Nevermind hits #1 on the Billboard Charts. Then again
it hits #1 on February 1, 1992
During this whole time that Nevermind is being listened to Nirvana is
touring. They have three U. S. tours and four European tours. They also
have a tour taking them to
Australia,
New Zealand, Japan, and Hawaii. On one of the U. S tours they get to
play Saturday Night Live. They also play at the Reading Festival on one
of the European tours. During the tours they play with different bands.
Some of them were Dinosaur Jr., Sonic Youth, Pearl Jam, and Red Hot
Chili Peppers.
Along the way of life, Kurt falls in love. He marries Courtney Love
in Hawaii on February 24,1992. He first met Courtney in 1989. They kept
meeting up with each other through the years on tours and other rock
shows. So it seems they were meant to be together. In November of 1991
Courtney Love becomes pregnant with Kurt's child. Sometime in August of
1992 Courtney does an interview for Vanity Fair magazine. It is all
about her life,
Kurt Cobain,
her music, and of course the pregnancy. Vanity Fair prints that
Courtney did heroin during her pregnancy. Their child is born healthy on
August 18, .1992. They name her Frances Bean Cobain She becomes
everything that Kurt lives for. She is the light of Kurt's life.
There were many rumors floating around that Frances Bean was born
addicted to heroin. None of those rumors were true. That same day that
Frances was born the Los Angeles County revokes custody of her. This was
all a result of the Vanity Fair article. They later give custody back
and the Cobains then have to be supervised while taking care of their
daughter. Almost seven months later the Cobains can finally take care of
Frances Bean by themselves without supervision.
Life between Kurt and Courtney was hard. They always had rumors fling
about them. Things about drugs and arguments and how they were raising
their daughter. One story that was not just a rumor happened in June of
1993. Courtney called the police after a huge argument with Kurt. The
police came into their home and took three guns. They then took Kurt to
jail where he stayed for three hours.
In December of 1992 Nirvana put out a new album. It was entitled
Incesticide. This album was a collection of b-sides and rarities. Their
next real album was recorded in February of 1993. This time Nirvana goes
into the recording studio with Steve Albini in Cannon Falls, Minnesota.
The art work on the covers of Incesticide and In Utero are done by
Kurt. The In Utero album is released in September of 1993. Also in
September of 1993 Nirvana wins an MTV Music Video Award for Best
Alternative Video.
One of the songs cut from In Utero was titled «I Hate Myself and I
Want to Die». Kurt says that this was not to be taken literally. He says
he wrote it to make all the people in the world hear what they wanted
to hear. Everyone was saying that he was a moody, depressed man and that
he always wanted to kill himself. He was sick of people saying that
about him and wanted to make fun of himself. He decided to cut it from
In Utero because everyone would take it the wrong way.
In Utero takes Nirvana on more tours. The first one is a U. S tour.
They begin their tour in October of 1993. This tour is their first U. S.
tour in almost two years. While on this tour the play MTV Unplugged. In
February on 1994 they start a European tour. On March 6, 1994 Nirvana
is in Rome for a show. This same day Kurt is rushed to the hospital. He
had gone into a coma from overdosing on Rohypnol and champagne. He had
taken 50 doses of Rohypnol, which is like the drug valium. The press
goes wild and says it is all a suicide attempt. Kurt wakes twenty hours
later and denies it was an attempt. At this time Nirvana decides to
cancel the rest of the tour and take a rest. Through all of the tours
their are rumors that tensions are high between the group members. The
press says there is constant fighting. There is even a rumor that the
group is going to break up. To add to the cancellation of their tour
they also cancel all their involvement in Lollapalooza.
Then on March 18,1994 a startling thing happens. Kurt locks himself
in a room of his house. He will not come out and he has a 38 caliber
revolver with him. He threaten to kill himself. Courtney Love once again
calls the police. The police come and take control of the situation.
They take the gun away.
Some time around March 30,1994 Courtney calls for an intervention to
get Kurt off of drugs. She realizes he really does need help. On March
31,1994 Kurt checks in to the Exodus Recovery Center. It seems as though
Kurt wants help. This doesn't last long. The day after he checks in he
jumps a wall and it is the last anyone sees of him. He is missing
